Wedding report

... but not much of one, actually, because I don't remember that much. I was told this would happen. To gather impressions you need to be an observer on the periphery, not the (slightly offset) centre of attention. I surprised myself by almost getting teary towards the end; isn't that meant to be the mother's job? But in my speech I thanked (and named) the people who had been especially kind to us and most especially to Best Beloved, and suddenly there was a lump where previously there had been none. And before that my uncle had made a little speech of his own, remembering when he had come to Northern Ireland and met me for the first time, and given me a bottle, and then gone downstairs to watch Dr Who. My uncle is pushing 60 and has a mental age of five, and he had spent most of the day before composing that offering. That got to me.

What else do I remember ...

• my bride alighting from her car and looking absolutely beautiful. And then getting back in again so the photographer could capture the moment.
• sweltering heat; temperatures inside my hired suit approaching the temperature inside Chernobyl shortly before it became world famous.
• wrath-of-God-type thunderstorm as we were having our drinks afterwards.
• a swirl of smiling faces, everyone apart from one whiny six year old (and who cares?) seeming to be happy and enjoying it; everyone there special to at least one of us and wishing us well.
• year 9 girl sitting on year 11 boy's bike and refusing to move until he offered to marry her. (Me: "It would make a lovely match." Her dad: "Well, for her, maybe ...")

And I think that's it. More may follow. I'd post some pictures, but the deal with Hello! magazine was pretty exclusive.