The missing jellicle

Yesterday I proposed that TS Eliot should have written a poem about the Varnhem Abbey cat. Now I gather his output has declined with very little new stuff published lately, so maybe he wouldn't feel up to it. Never one to back down from a self-imposed challenge, here's my own take.

Jagerbirl the Abbey Cat
Will always sit upon the mat
Or anything that’s smooth and flat
No matter what the sign may say

Then wanders round the stony tombs
Patrolling all the Abbey’s rooms
(Permission granted, one assumes)
To send the mice up Heaven’s way.

He’ll greet the guests as they come in
(A friendly purr is not a sin)
You’ll find him there day out, day in
Until the Lord may lead his flock home.

He gives his tail a friendly wave
And keeps a close eye on the nave
To see no one disturbs the grave
Of Birgir Jarl (who founded Stockholm).

Anyone got Lloyd Webber's phone number?