Even Homeland Security wouldn't go this far

The Eighth Amendment to the US Constitution, which specificially forbids "Cruel and unusual punishment", hasn't reached Colorado. Ananova reports that Judge Paul Sacco is sentencing offenders who break the noise laws to an hour of loud music from a set playlist.

At first glance it might not be so bad, and Psycho Sacco specifically mentions loud rap players as his targets. They might even be educated. The playlist consists of Barry Manilow ("Cocacabana"? A bit anodyne but annoyingly catchy), The Carpenters (lovely!), Dolly Parton ("Jolene"? Surely the anthem of the heart-broken woman) and ... Barney the Purple Dinosaur.

You bastard.