Mystery

I look around at my co-workers on a Friday afternoon ...

Everyone seems so normal. We are mostly white and middle class. I would guess that the huge majority have a university education. No one here has ever really known deprivation or the breakdown of society. I'm sure we were all spanked by our mothers from time to time when we were naughty.

And yet, the forensic evidence suggests there is a male in this company who pees into the toilet bowl without putting the seat up. It's the kind of thing you could write a thesis on.

Have a good weekend.

Musical movements

A colleague at works likes to sing on the toilet. I discovered this fact today. I didn't recognise the voice or the song, but singing it was.

It wasn't the guy who likes to make mobile phone calls from the same place. His accent is distinctive and Scottish. I'd have recognised him. Today's singer was more generically middle England and there's a lot of us about.

I thought of sending back a few bars of the first song that came to mind, but didn't, (a) because he might regard it as a challenge and (b) because the first song to come to mind was John Rutter's The Angel's Carol, and it would be ironic if he ended up thinking I'm the weird one. There could be a blog out there saying something like "guess what, I work with a guy who likes to sing carols in the toilet ..."

Pardon the convenience

When we moved into the new building last year, many of us were quick to spot the potential hazard of the toilet cubicle door that opened out rather than in, to the detriment of any man standing with his back to it at the time. Which, given the function of the room and what's on the wall facing the cubicle doors, is quite often. This was apparently in compliance with disability access legislation.

Nearly a year later, in deference to the number of men who stand and deliver (quite a few) vs the number of wheelchair users (0), and the fact that we already have a toilet fully equipped for people with disabilities that would be much easier for a wheelchair user to get into, and after much thumping and grinding that closed the toilets on each floor for a day, the doors have been reversed. All doors now open inwards and the men can breathe two sighs of relief.

Well, that's one cubicle I don't intend to use. The new lock looks flimsy. There are people in this high-tech, forward-looking company who can't master the subtlety of the little red square that appears when the door is locked, and test for occupancy with a good hard thump. I have established under controlled conditions that a good hard thump will open the door even if the flimsy lock is engaged. The other cubicle is Fort Knox by comparison.

This is probably way too much information for any of my regular readers but you never know, the facilities manager may come across it and save me the embarrassment of reporting my findings formally.

As long as you don't mind the occasional strained pause ...

I've heard jokes about it but have never encountered the phenomenon until just now. The sound of a co-worker, in the toilet cubicle, talking on his mobile.

And he hadn't just gone in there for a private conversation because I heard the sound of paper being pulled and-

I'll stop now.

No, I won't. I'll assume for the sake of charity that he received the call rather than initiated it. Still curious about the etiquette. Do you reveal your location to the caller?

Yet another reason why videophones will never catch on.

Now I'll stop.