Non nobis domine, dives in omnia!

If it happens two years running then it's annual, right? Thus the now annual Mostly Bookbrains Literary Quiz, held last night at the Manor School in aid of Friends of Abingdon Museum. I maintain that coming 5= out of 12 teams is a perfectly respectable position. I mean, anyone could mistake a picture of Stieg Larsson for Mark Haddon or forget that the hero of C.J. Sansom's series of Reformation crime novels is Matthew Shardlake, not Shadwell.

I take no pride in knowing who wrote the Wheel of Time series - though perhaps a small shred of it in not having read any - but I felt quietly smug for knowing that 2001: A Space Odyssey was based on "The Sentinel". In that particular round, a bit of music commonly associated with a movie was played and we had to name the literary original that the movie came from. Thus for the theme from Schindler's List, the correct answer was Schindler's Ark, geddit?

For 2001, though there is a novel of the same name, it was written concurrent with the film and I thought it worth mentioning that technically "The Sentinel" would be the right answer. And got a bonus point.

Which was lost later on in the same round by what some might call the strange confusion of Henry V (modern version) and Porterhouse Blue. The confusion is that both feature quite a catchy earwormy Latin number. From Branagh's Henry V:



(Look closely and you might see Inspector Wallander carrying a dead teenage Batman across the battlefield, in a single 4-minute take: cudos to Christian Bale for not sneezing.)

And from Porterhouse Blue:



See? Easy mistake to make.

For the completists, the Henry V words are: Non nobis domine, sed nomini tuo da gloriam, i.e. "Not to us O Lord but to your name give glory."

The Porterhouse Blue words are too long to put here but are translated here, and despite being made up were well in keeping with the spirit of the series. That's one of the things that made it such a good show to watch: that, and Ian Richardson, and David Jason, and the college exploding under a load of gas-filled condoms.

Quite right too

Haven't done one of these for ages ... probably because none of my friends has either.

Your result for The Improved Book Character-Savvy Test...

Master/Mistress!

You scored 95% Best Seller, 93% Classic and 96% Fantasy/Sci-Fi!

You are my type of person. (Can you see the little hearts shooting from my eyes?) Absolutely smashing. Keep on reading!



Your rank: Ruler of the Universe

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Pointless

The things I do for my friends ...

D is a cut-back kitchen designer, by which I mean he designs kitchens for a living but his firm has cut him back to a three-day week. So he has time on his hands but not a lot of money. He's also an avid quiz-goer. All these factors mean that when he heard about Pointless, a quiz show that requires pairs to enter, he was up for it and he persuaded me I would enjoy it too.

That was back in the summer, and after sending in the applications we heard no more about it. I assumed that was the end of it. Apparently they had the first series - 4.30pm, BBC2, weekday afternoons, Alexander Armstrong hosting - and it was good enough for a second to be commissioned. So, they trawled the files and got in touch with the also-rans from the first time round. I got a call on my mobile and, having completely forgotten about it, almost told them to take a hike, assuming it was some kind of cold sales call. Oops.

Anyway, long story short, we went for our audition in Shepherds Bush on Friday. Three other pairs were there too so we had: two bubbly sisters in their 20s; two elder Essex lads, veterans of other quiz shows with plenty of entertaining anecdotes and not a nice word to say about Anne Robinson or Martyn Lewis; a mother and son, who was the spitting image of a young Mike Oldfield; and a kitchen designer and technical editor from Abingdon.

No studios or Alexander Armstrong for the audition, of course; this was all in a boardroom at Endemol HQ. For an ice breaker we did Mexican waves around the table and whoever had their hands in the air when we were told to stop had to say a fact about themselves. Mine was that I've been to Buckingham Palace twice. D was kicking himself after: "I forgot to say my grandfather was a bigamist!" (I did ask which wife he was descended from. Apparently his grandfather cunningly married two women with the same name, which is why it took so long for his descendants to work it out.)

Then a couple of rounds of the game itself. It's Family Fortunes in reverse. The organisers previously asked a panel of 100 volunteers to name as many items in a given category as they can. You then get asked to name one item, and you get the same number of points as the number of volunteers who also said that. BUT you want to get as few points as possible. I can use this example because this is the one they use publicly: if you're asked to name a Tom Cruise film and say "Top Gun", 60 or 70 of the panel also said that and so you get 60 or 70 points. If you say "Tropic Thunder", which none of the panel guessed, you get zero points. The winner is the one with as few points as possible.

If, though, you said something like "Gone with the Wind" which is just a plain wrong answer, you get 100 points. Simple.

I won't say the questions they asked. I'll just say we came second, and could have come first if we'd had the courage of our convictions and gone for an answer that we only thought might be the right one. Pah. But it was a lot more fun than I thought it would be; there was a really nice atmosphere between the eight of us, and I think we all genuinely hope the others make it even if we don't. D has been forewarned that, unlike the winners in the clip I saw, if we win I will not throw myself into his arms and he will not do likewise with me. We may go so far as a discreet Anglican handshake, maybe a "jolly good show" or two. No more.

Filming will happen during January: if we're to be on it, we'll hear in the next few weeks. I'll let you know.

To your scattered quizzes go

I am: Philip José Farmer This prolific author brings surprising depths to he-man adventure tales, and broke science fiction's prudery barrier.

Which science fiction writer are you?

There are worse things than to be the creator of Riverworld, though I'm not aware myself of having broken any prudery barriers. Having got this result I redid the quiz trying to make myself as obnoxiously right wing and then as utterly loveable as possible. The former, surprise surprise, got Robert Heinlein, the latter James Tiptree Jr. So, should anyone else be tempted to try this, those are the ends of the spectrum you'll find yourself somewhere on.

Oh. My. God.

I am married to Richard Dawkins ...

Your result for The Doctor Who Companion Test...

Romana II

You are Romana II. While you still retain all your knowledge from the Academy, your time spent traveling with The Doctor has mellowed you a bit, and you and The Doctor now get along quite well. The Doctor also greatly enjoys your company - you're smart enough to keep up with him, but are no longer the brash young know-it-all of your previous incarnation.

Unfortunately, all that mellowing has also caused you to become a bit more dependent upon The Doctor than you might like - you seem to be getting captured by monsters more and more these days. Still, you know how to enjoy yourself, and will probably stick around for the time being.

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Observation affects outcome

Put it this way - if you weren't a tiny percent nerd, you wouldn't do things like this, would you?

Yup

Your result for Howard Gardner's Eight Types of Intelligence Test...

Intrapersonal

"This area has to do with introspective and self-reflective capacities. Those who are strongest in this intelligence are typically introverts and prefer to work alone. They are usually highly self-aware and capable of understanding their own emotions, goals and motivations. They often have an affinity for thought-based pursuits such as philosophy. They learn best when allowed to concentrate on the subject by themselves. There is often a high level of perfectionism associated with this intelligence.

Careers which suit those with this intelligence include philosophers, psychologists, theologians, writers and scientists." (Wikipedia)

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Minus, not Vimes. Plus, not Nobby

Your result for The Which Discworld Character Am I Test...

Captain Carrot

# You scored 90% on intelligence, higher than 65% of your peers.
# You scored 59% on morality, higher than 51% of your peers.
# You scored 78% on strength, higher than 90% of your peers.

You are an intriguing character. Good hearted, incredibly strong, and a headful of information that makes that Jeopardy guy look like a bar trivia hack. No one knows what to make of a six-foot tall dwarf who dates a werewolf, and may be the true heir to the throne of Ankh-Morpork. But you can make everyone get along, and are a born leader.

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[Ben's note: can I just point out that whoever devised this test spells "Captain" "Captian". I couldn't really let that go uncorrected.]

Charlton Heston, eh?

Your result for Reincarnation Placement Exam...

Deep Space Explorer

Hmm... You're a tough one to place. Your answers indicate that you like technology and education. You enjoy intrigue, adventure and chaos. You're fine with hard work and civilization. This all bodes well for an interesting, adventurous life.

What makes it difficult, however, is that you don't seem to be much of a 'people person.'

If you were more of a people person, we would have commissioned you aboard the Starship Enterprise. But since you don't care much for the complications of dealing with your fellow man... we have another deep-space mission, more tailored for your tastes... a way for you to enjoy the benefits of high-tech civilization without having to put up with civilization itself. Let's set you up to pursue the solo career of a deep space explorer. You can go ahead and hibernate through the boring parts of your mission, and not worry so much about being a few decades out of touch with your fellows by the time you get home. In fact, you pretty much don't have to deal with people at all, but you can still enjoy a high-flying adventure of a life. Far, far away from the madding crowd, you get to play with your scientific instruments, serve your glorious civilization, and do interesting things with strange discoveries in exotic places.

The career might work out all right. Look what it did for Charlton Heston.

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Brad Pitt? Brad Pitt??

Your result for The Best Thing About You Test...

Compassion

Compassion is the most human of the virtues. And you? Your heart has limits far beyond normal levels empathy, and your capacity for feeling the world's pain is boundless. You poor, beautiful, wonderful thing. All 7 virtues are a part of you, but your compassion runs deepest.

It is likely you're an altruist. And it's likely (but not necessarily true, think of Bono) that your humility score is high too.

Compassionate famous people: Brad Pitt, Mother Theresa, The A-Team.

Your raw relative scores follow. 0% is low, and 100% is perfect, nearly impossible. Note that I pitted the virtues against each other, so in some way these are relative scores. It's impossible to score high on all of them, and a low score on one is just relatively low compared to the other virtues.

YOUR VIRTUES

70% Compassion

44% Intelligence

63% Humility

56% Honesty

38% Discipline

29% Courage

25% Passion

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I was definitely expecting the donkey

This comes as a surprise (or confirmation that these online quizzes don't know what they're talking about). If anyone achieves the ultimate and becomes Pooh, do let me know.

Your result for The Deep and Meaningful Winnie-The-Pooh Character Test...

Piglet

"It's a little Anxious," he said to himself, "to be a Very Small Animal Entirely Surrounded by Water. Christopher Robin and Pooh could escape by Climbing Trees, and Kanga could escape by Jumping, and Rabbit could escape by Burrowing, and Owl could escape by Flying, and Eeyore could escape by -- by Making a Loud Noise Until Rescued, and here am I, surrounded by water and I can't do anything."

You scored as Piglet!

ABOUT PIGLET: Piglet is a Very Small Animal, who used to live in his own house, a nice big tree. However, after Owl's house was blown over by a storm, he "found" Piglet's house, and Piglet didn't want to tell him that the home was already lived in. So he went to live with Pooh.

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You are a rather nervous person, and you tend to worry about The Worst happening. You don't really feel capable of dealing with the things that life could throw at you, and so you tend to fret about it. You are one of those people who seems to think that worrying actually accomplishes something... and your friends can't help but love you for it. Your humble manner and self-deprecating ways make your friends feel good about themselves. They want to help and protect you.

Your loving friends are always trying to encourage you to be more independent, and they are right. You need to develop a bit of self confidence and stand on your own two feet.

Take The Deep and Meaningful Winnie-The-Pooh Character Test at HelloQuizzy

Most of the text is right

... except possibly the last sentence. The picture is definitely wrong.

Your result for The Fashion Style Test...

Sporty Hottie

[Tasteful Conventional Random Sexy]



You don't pay an awful lot of attention to clothes. You have a few criteria which direct you when shopping: you want your clothes to be as unpretentious as possible and to make you look as good as possible. Other than that you don't spend hours on thinking about outfits. You are not very creative in your choices but because you're comfortable with your body and like to show it, people, especially the opposite sex, judge your style highly. Maybe you don't wear sportswear but you might consider it: it's simple, unostentatious and tight.


The opposite style from yours is Fashion Artist [Flamboyant Original Deliberate Prissy].




All the categories: Librarian Sporty Hottie Office Master Uptown Girl/ Boy Brainy Student Movie Star Fashionista Glamorous Soul Fashion Enemy Bar Cruiser Kid Next Door Sex Bomb Hippie Kid Fashion Rebel Fashion Artist Catwalk God(ess)

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