Mellotron metatron

The mellotron was one of the funkier instruments of musical history. In the days before digital sampling of sounds, each key was connected to a tape of an instrument playing that note. Thus one player could command, say, an orchestra of violins. The Moody Blues managed to make an orchestra go on strike when they realised they weren't needed.

Not that it had to be a musical instrument that had been recorded. It could be anything. Sometimes the tapes stretched or distorted which added an interesting electronic effect. It was large, and clunky, and limited to the tapes available, but progressive musicians of the 60s and 70s could do things with it to much more effect than any kid today with a synthesiser, which starts with a few basic tones but manipulates them in an infinite variety.

Sometimes I feel I'm talking to a mellotron. I open my mouth and utter a carefully synthesised opinion. What happens inside the other person is that I press a key that plays a tape. You hear politicians do this all the time - ask them a question and you get back the appropriate taped response, which being pre-recorded is probably not exactly the response you asked for. It can happen anywhere doctrinal purity is at stake. In the context of fellowship, fr'instance, I have occasionally whispered a sentiment along the lines that - say - not every non-Christian goes automatically to Hell. But I've learnt not to, because all too often I have simply activated the tape labelled "suppress heresy of universalism and suggestion that the sacrifice of Christ is meaningless", even though I have said - and believe - nothing of the sort.

Or sometimes there's no set doctrine being contradicted; I merely touch too closely to someone's core values, possibly with a scenario that wasn't considered when those core values were formed. Or they haven't quite grasped what I'm on about. Or they haven't twigged that I'm not actually soliciting a response; I would simply like them to listen. They can't let the opportunity for a conversation pass by. So they come back with the nearest tape they can find to a meaningful answer.

You can, if you feel so inclined, play games. You can take that basic armoury of tapes and play it like a virtuoso, Tony Banks or Rick Wakeman, wringing sounds and permutations out of it that the owner didn't even know were in there. But more often, if I feel (or indeed know) that someone is a mellotron, it's much easier not to say anything.

I'd much rather talk to a Prophet.