Saturday, June 12, 2010

Crime scene

All entrances to Albert Park sealed off this morning ...

... and lurking beyond the trees we could see men in white boiler suits crawling about on the ground. Probably not the local bowls club.

And here's why, it turns out: reports of a serious sexual assault on a 14-year-old girl around midnight last night; 16-year-old boy in custody.

I don't hold with twaddle about contributory negligence, or the she-was-asking-for-it defence, or no-really-means-yes. If an assault was committed, string the brute up by whatever body parts might have been involved. But I can also think of an absolutely foolproof method that guarantees no 14-year-old girl will ever be assaulted in Albert Park at midnight. See if you can guess what it is.


  1. ...locking Albert Park at 11pm?

    No, I think you probably mean responsible parenting. Post-Thatcherite no-such-thing-as-society forfend.

  2. Nah, locking wouldn't help - they could just climb over. My solution needn't even involve the parents ...

  3. Anonymous8:48 am

    Demolish Albrt Park?

    Seriously, though - if you didn't mean 'responsible parenting' then I'm lost.

  4. I was thinking along the lines of "if you're a 14 year old girl, manage not to be in Albert Park at midnight."

    Quite easily done. I'm not in Albert Park right now (albeit I'm not a 14 year old girl so the example might not apply directly) and I'm barely breaking sweat with the effort.

  5. Well, yes, but that would send a message to 14 year old girls that it's their responsibility to keep themselves safe, rather than 16 year old boys' responsibility not to assault them, and its their liberty which needs to be curtailed as a result. Pragmatically, most adult women accept this to a degree, but in principle, I object to it. Parks at night are fun, especially when you're 14. For example, the same result could be achieved by making Albert Park a women-only zone after dark, thus curtailing the freedom of movement of young men, but we never think about that as an option.

  6. That is a good point. Girls can, or should be able to, reasonably expect not to be assaulted wherever and whenever they might be. Mine is a short-term fix for a larger-scale problem.


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