How to steal from B&Q

1. get a trolley with a large transparent plastic bag already in it.
2. put the item you desire to nick under the transparent plastic bag.
3. check out.

Easy, eh? The cashier won't see what is under the transparent plastic bag and won't ring it up. The alarm barriers won't go off, either, when you pass through them. But for the sake of legality, boys and girls, I must urge you to do what we did and notice that you hadn't actually paid for it before leaving the store, which probably would make it an actual felony. Then return to the cashier and fess up. Try not to make comments to the effect of how difficult it is to see through transparent plastic bags.

All this, in case you hadn't guessed, was to buy further decorating tools. Most fun discovery: you know the emergency sealant foam that you get in all good space opera, when a disposable character is making his way down the ship's double hull towards the computer centre, to take control of the ship, and there's a space battle or a meteorite storm, and the hull is pierced, and the foam comes squirting in and tragically kills him? This stuff exists. It's made by Polyfilla and it comes in cans. Whee!